If your partner has a vulva, odds are, they need more than P-in-V penetration in order to orgasm. They need direct and consistent clitoral stimulation. In fact, a study published in the journal Sex and Marital Therapy found that only 18% of women can orgasm from direct penetration alone; the rest of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
The clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings, which is roughly double the number in a penis. And while you often see folks call the clitoris a little “nub” at the top of a vulva where the inner labia meet, that’s just one part of it. The full clitoris is shaped kind of like a wishbone, and extends up to five inches inside the body. That’s why many sex researchers are now claiming that G-spot orgasms don’t really exist— they’re actually internal clitoral orgasms. For this piece, however, we’re going to focus on that little nub (and the external area around it).
Even though the clitoris a highly erogenous zone chock-full of nerve endings, that doesn’t mean you can just poke it and expect your partner to moan in ecstasy. There are still certain techniques and preferred ways to touch the clitoris.
1) The Clit Clock Game
Imagine the clit has a clock on it, where the top point, closest to their bellybutton, is twelve, and the spot closest to their vaginal opening is six. Move along their clit around the clock with a finger or sex toy, starting from twelve and going in a circle slowly, asking them to let you know which spot feels the best.
2) Pleasure Calibration
Once you find the right location, try different ways of touching it, The things you can vary are pressure, friction, speed, and angle. You can tell them to make a noise, squeeze your hand, or say something when it feels particularly good.
3) Stay Consistent
As the adage goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The most common frustrating thing men do is change things up too much. Once you find what works, keep doing it. You don’t need a million different tricks, you just need to find the thing they like, and consistently repeat it. Let it build up enough to spill over.
4) Peace Sign
Put your fingers in a peace sign and with lots of lube, slide them up and down on the inside of their outer lips, around the inner lips. Here you are stimulating the extended internal structure of the clitoris. This is erectile tissue that becomes highly sensitive when engorged, making the area hotter, filled with blood and pulsing. Make sure that you use plenty of lube; this does not feel pleasurable without it.
5) Mixed Pressure
Slide or bring the heel of your hand to the hood of their clitoris. Have your partner breathe and ask them if they want more or less pressure. You may want to repeat this, pulse, or slide. You can also apply pressure with other things besides your hands, including sex toys.
Read more 7 More Powerful Pussy Eating Techniques
6) Rock-A-Bye Labia
Spread your fingers and lay them flat over your partner’s outer labia, and then alternate pressure between your fingers. As always, explore pressure and rhythm, and ask your partner what feels best. Here you are stimulating the clitoral bulbs under the outer labia, which is an essential way to signal to the body to produce lubrication and fill the area with blood to increase pleasure and sensitivity vastly.
7) The Penis Massage
If you’re hard, try using your erect penis to rub up against her clit. This is good if you are laying side-by-side facing each other … or even on your knees above her, holding the tip of your penis in your hand to massage and rub her clit. She can also grab your penis and use it like she would a sex toy on her clit
Re-cap: Clitoral anatomy 101
Glans clitoris. This is the external nub we think of when picturing the clitoris. Even though it’s ‘the size of a pea,’ it holds thousands of nerve endings.
Clitoral hood. We all like a good hoodie, and the clitoris is no different. The labia minora connect to form the clitoral hood. When you’re aroused, the hood retracts slightly to expose the glans. If you have a hooded clitoris, don’t worry, its normal.
Read more 5 Reasons To Suck On Her Clit
Clitoral body. The clitoral body is internal. It connects to the glans and is suspended from the pubic bone via a ligament.
Corpora cavernosa. The clitoral body consists of two corpora cavernosa that become erect during arousal.
Paired crura. The clitoral body branches off to form two appendages. These “legs” straddle the urethra and the vaginal canal and become engorged with blood when you’re turned on.
Vestibular bulbs. The vestibular bulbs form an upside-down heart shape, with the urethra and the vaginal canal at the heart’s cleavage. The bulbs reach through and behind the labia, around the vaginal canal, and toward the anus. They also swell when you’re hot and bothered.
This book will make you be able to convert a woman’s movement and internal force into stimulation and stability. These techniques are helpful for staying on course to her orgasm.
This book revolutionizes the way people learn about sex.
Millions of men want to be sure that when their partner says, “Yes, I came,” she’s saying it with the flush of a real orgasm on her face, and the weak knees of a woman who’s just experienced something that she’d only suspected could exist.