Men don’t have many taboos—certainly nowhere nearly as many as women. However, there does seem to be something of a no-talk zone surrounding the conversation of male virginity. Indeed, even admitting to be being a virgin, for most men, is way beyond the realms of acceptability, which is something of a problem, really.
Women, for whom virginity is a socially acceptable state of being, have access to a whole range of sources of advice, from their friends to thousands of lifestyle magazines to an endless supply of internet resources. For men, however, the exact opposite is true, with any decent advice hidden deep beneath swathes of macho bullshit and mythology.
Sexual intercourse for the male virgin
It is natural, though, to be a little scared when delving into your first true sexual experience, and it’s okay to want to seek third-party advice. And that, dear readers, is where we step in. So, don’t run away from the inevitable any longer. With our advice, learn to love one of life’s greatest pleasures.
1 It’s not everything.
That sounds like a bit of a contradictory point, but it’s absolutely true. Sex is a great part of a relationship, but it certainly doesn’t constitute its whole part. The woman you’re about to have sex with likes you for who you are. She isn’t going to drop you like a ton of bricks if things don’t go according to plan. And if she does, then you’re better off without her.
2 Beware of myths.
Guys love to make fun of virgins by telling them all kinds of ridiculous myths about sex. Simply be careful about who you take advice from, and make sure that your bullshit filter is on its highest possible setting.
3 Don’t do the math.
Numbers don’t make a great lover. There will be men telling you how they’re the greatest lovers since Casanova, all because they’ve slept with more women than a politician’s told lies. However, you learn about good sex by staying with and exploring the same woman. Serial sharks, in effect, start again from square one each time they move on to another victim. You will learn more about what makes a woman happy after only three or four times than he would after 20.
4 It’s not about how big it is.
Penis size is a common concern for male virgins, but it really isn’t that important to most women. Even if you are under average, there are plenty of other ways you can compensate *see point 10*.
5 Clean up your act.
It’s worth noting, even though obvious, that you really do need to be scrupulously clean before getting naked for the act of intercourse, especially in those areas that aren’t normally exposed.
6 Eat well.
Diet can actually be an important part of your preparation for sexual intercourse. To begin with, heavy foods such as greasy meat, dairy, and potatoes should be avoided. However, there are also a number of foods that actually enhance performance, known as aphrodisiacs, that can help to really put you in the right mood.
7 Wear your heart on your sleeve.
Tell her you’re a virgin. Most women will actually find that very sweet, as well as commendable, and will be happy to help you through your first time.
8 Performance issues.
Don’t be surprised if you have them. Whether due to overexcitement or nervousness, issues such as impotence and premature ejaculation are normal the first time. But don’t worry, these issues will normally resolve themselves after a few more experiences.
9 Take it steady.
Slow and steady is the key to a fulfilling experience. You aren’t getting any prizes for being the first to hit the finishing line, and you’d only be cheating yourself out of a more fulfilling experience.
10 More “fore” the better.
Women can’t usually just jump straight into the act without a little warming up first, and that is where foreplay comes in. Hands, tongues, and lips have a definite part to play in sexual intercourse and, as a rule of thumb, should actually take up more time than the act itself.
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11 Be prepared.
You’re almost certainly going to need condoms with you your first time, and you may need some lube as well if she’s a little dry down there. Just make sure you’re prepared so that everything doesn’t come to a crashing and inconvenient halt.
The best way to tell how well things are going is to check her response. If she’s just lying there staring at the ceiling, then it’s time to try something else. If she’s panting and groaning with pleasure, however, you’re onto a winner.
13 Role models.
Whoever your role models might be, make sure they aren’t the guys in porn films. Despite what a lot of guys will tell you, most women would be horrified if you tried any of those moves on them in real life. So hold back on the money shots, and just listen to what her body is telling you instead.
14 Just ask.
Seriously, if you’re not sure what to do, or if you’re not sure if what you’re doing is right or not, then just ask. Women are really responsive to that kind of thing and will be happy to guide you around their bodies.
15 Don’t force it.
If you go for penetration and it doesn’t seem to be going in with any ease, then don’t force it. Either keep at it slowly and carefully, or try a little more foreplay first.
16 It’s so much more than a chore.
It’s worth pointing out that sex is supposed to be enjoyable… so enjoy it! Lose yourself in the moment and each other, and experience the pleasure that can only be found in sex.
17 Which position?
Try a couple of different sexual positions to see which suit you best, but by all means, don’t overdo it or stress about it. You’re not an entry in a Kama Sutra book. If you’re enjoying it, then just go with the flow and let your bodies take care of themselves.
18 The big O.
It will happen at some point, and it’s going to be mind-blowing. Just make sure you try and hold off for as long as possible so that she benefits as well. But if you do happen to finish before her, don’t sweat it. Just make sure you still help her across the finish line afterwards.
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Take a little time afterwards to cuddle up together and have a little talk. You’ll be able to reflect on your first experience together and put some of your doubts and worries behind you. You might also learn a little about how to improve next time.
20 It might not be great.
No matter what you do or how you prepare, sometimes the first time just isn’t that great. Don’t worry about it, though, because it’s perfectly normal for this to be the case.
If you are a guy and sexually inexperienced, don’t face your initial sexual encounters with uneasiness. A little bit of knowledge will help these encounters to be even more joyous. This guide spells out the basics, frankly yet tastefully. As well as giving you all you need to know about how to make the encounters memorable, safe, and rewarding, this book provides a modern, 360-degree view tips and techniques in a easy to remember step by step illustrations. There are a few basics you should take into account before stripping your clothes off.