Do you feel that you have fallen into a sexual rut? Maybe your sexual relationship with your partner has flattened. Or you realized that many of your recent sexual encounters lacked any intimacy. Perhaps you struggle in dealing with rejection from past sexual partners or are feeling self-conscious about your body. These are just several reasons why you — and many other people — could be looking for advice on having more intimate sex.
The key to having more intimate sex relies on your emotional connection with your partner both inside and outside the bedroom. Communication and openness will help you develop your sexual relationship with your partner. Here are seven tips for cultivating and strengthening it.
1. Redefine Your Original Viewpoint On Sex
Each partner brings a distinct viewpoint on sex into the relationship. This attitude is usually formed from their own unique life experiences. Some people do not learn how to effectively articulate their sexual desires and preferences to their partners until later in life. Others may struggle with focusing more on the physical than the emotional part of sex. These issues can create sexual dysfunction throughout the relationship.
To prevent or ameliorate this issue, it is important to remember to slow down and enjoy the entire experience together. Focusing on your sexual desire for each other and the present moment rather than the end goal can drastically improve your intimacy in bed.
2. Use Your Words And Talk To Each Other
Try to sit down with your partner and discuss your interests and desires together. Active listening is important for both parties as well as honesty when discussing their thoughts. Make sure you are having these conversations outside of the bedroom. They need to be taken seriously and should be done without any distractions. While the idea of talking about your sexual needs not being completely met sounds awkward, it will allow you to focus on other, more fun parts of your relationship.
Being honest during these sessions is critical. If you don’t tell your partner what you need, they cannot fulfill you the way you need them to. Don’t be afraid to ask questions either, such as “What do you need more of?” or “What is something we can do differently?” When done successfully, these intimate conversations can allow your partner to sexually satisfy one another without having to do any guesswork.
3. Embrace New Experiences To Improve Your Sexual Relationship
Couples whose sex lives are starting to plateau sometimes turn to new toys, positions, and even sexual partners to spice up their bedroom activities. This inclination may be caused by a failure to focus on your emotional connection with each other over the need for physical pleasure.
Instead of looking for short-lived, external help, try to allow yourselves to be more vulnerable in front of each other. It may feel risky or even a little scary, but opening yourselves up emotionally and sexually can allow you to feel more connected to each other. You can also try being more expressive in your feelings toward each other, both verbally and non-verbally. Telling your partner how much you love them or giving them a massage before bed is a couple of great methods for practicing intimacy.
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Slow It Down
Sometimes, you just need to take things slowly. This may entail slowing down the conversation when it comes to your unique sexual desire or required level of intimacy from your partner. Some people need more time and patience when it comes to expressing their sexual needs.
It can also involve the literal interpretation in the bedroom. Slowing down your movements allows you to remain in the moment and enjoy the unique connection you share with your partner. Remember to focus on the present experience rather than the end goal of achieving an orgasm.
5. Build An Erotic Love Map Together
An erotic love map explores your partner’s preferences and desires. As you build this love map, try to ask specific questions about their needs and desires in bed. Start with these questions as you build a comprehensive list tailored to your unique relationship.
What felt good last time?
What did you do that turned each other on?
What fulfills your sexual desire and makes sex better for you?
What do you need to make sex more intimate for both of you?
What do you dislike?
Sex and intimacy do not always go hand in hand. However, by building a love map together, you and your partner can garner a better understanding of each other’s tastes and desires. Allowing yourself to become vulnerable when talking intimately about sex can be effective in bridging the gap between the two terms.
6. Eliminate Distractions
Silence your phone. Put it away. Pay attention to your partner. With so much going on in the world around us, it can be easy to become distracted. You must focus your attention on your partner during something as intimate as sex. Allowing yourself to become distracted may delay sexual pleasure and frustrate your partner. Eliminating objects such as your cell phone or laptop can prevent you from getting distracted and allow you to focus on the moment instead.
7. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Vulnerable
Showing vulnerability can be done in a variety of ways. Expressing your sexual desire for your partner sometimes requires you to be vulnerable. Maintaining eye contact during sex, while sometimes awkward at first, can also help you connect sexually with your partner.
Being vulnerable can be scary. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings out of fear of being judged. But doing so allows partners to build trust in each other and prevent themselves from shutting down or becoming distant from each other
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